An American outside 'home'
Published on May 8, 2012 By Snowman In Everything Else

Spottet this post on the Danish national TV's website, and it kinda made me giggle.
It's a list of 'observations' made by an American living in Denmark (Where I also live), and it sort of defines what 'a Dane' is and how 'we think'.
Well 'sort of' is a bit vague.... it's more or less spot on!


YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN DENMARK TOO LONG, WHEN:

You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.

You think its normal to pick up a girl in a pub, walk her to her bike and ride with her back home.

You understand why not every type of meat can be put together on top of bread.

You think its impolite to sit next to someone in a bus if there is a bench where you can sit on your own.

You go to the supermarket and buy three good beers and 10 not too good ones.

You can open a beer bottle with almost anything.

You honestly believe that the distance between Copenhagen and Aalborg is long.

You can tell the difference between a Grøn Tuborg and a Carlsberg beer

The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is to look for the queue number machine.

You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.

When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a. he is drunk;
b. he is insane;
c. he is American;
d. he is all of the above.

Silence is fun.

It no longer seems excessive to spend 800 kr. on alcohol in a single night.

You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed".

You use "Mmmm" as conversation filler.

The word "yes" is an intake of breath.

You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank

Traditional dinners may not necessarily mean a cooked meal.

You forget how to open canned beer.

Can't remember when to say "please" and "excuse me".

You will leave a pub if you can't find a seat.

Your wardrobe no longer has suits but blue shirts and mustard colored sports jackets and lots of denim.

You don't mind paying the same for a 200-metre bus ride as you do for going 10 kms.

You don't look twice at businessmen in dark suits wearing white sport socks.

You start to believe that if it weren't for Denmark's efforts, the world would probably collapse pretty soon.

You find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than the name of the wine.

It feels natural to wear sport clothes and a backpack everywhere.

You know the meaning of life has something to do with the word "hyggelig".

You are very surprised when you receive compliments about ANYTHING - including your appearance/clothing! In fact when you do, you find it suspicious and start thinking they might have ulterior motives.

You've completely forgotten what a "date" is - no one ever comes to pick you up and unexpected gifts are VERY unexpected.

You don't think it strange that no one ever comes by to visit without being invited and you never show up at any one's place unannounced either.

You wouldn't dream of coming even 10 minutes early to a party. (Once around the block is always an alternative)

You find yourself lighting candles when you have guests - even if it is brightly sunny outside and 20 degrees.

You offer people strange-tasting brown alcoholic liquids with their coffee in the MORNING!

Don't we love Denmark??!!

 

The one that seriously got me giggling was this one:

"You honestly believe that the distance between Copenhagen and Aalborg is long."

The distance, by car/train is an aprox ride of 4½-5 hours, and is about the longest uninterupted ride possible....
Denmark is a ridiculously small country. I would guess it'd take longer to get from one side to the other of ex. New York, or any other major US city.

And no, Denmark is not a city in Sweden...


Comments (Page 1)
on May 08, 2012

That's a very long list. I would never be able to remember all that.

Got some pix?

on May 08, 2012

sounds a bit like one city here in australia, and the typical distance between cities here is 4-5 hour FLIGHT and about  1 to 3 DAYS by train/bus, but we make sure that the beer is cold before we drink or offer it,

 and by the way we DO have a TOWN called denmark just west of a town called albany in a state called western australia.

harpo

on May 08, 2012

 

on May 08, 2012

That's tellin' 'em.

on May 08, 2012

"You think its impolite to sit next to someone in a bus if there is a bench where you can sit on your own."

 

Isn't that pretty much the standard for anything, everywhere? Assuming we're not talking close friends and the like, I don't think I've ever really been anywhere in any situation where it wasn't weird to position yourself right next to someone when there were empty sections available.

 

"You don't think it strange that no one ever comes by to visit without being invited and you never show up at any one's place unannounced either."

Also, that. How could people not showing up without invitations be strange?

Either Canada and Denmark are very similar and the rest of the world has some odd habits, or most of this list is just pointing out generic things common to most places that the Danish have taken to thinking are unique to them...

Still, a few good ones on there...

on May 08, 2012

In New York's subway system getting a bench by yourself only happens in the wee hours of the morning. During the day....standing room only.

on May 08, 2012

i guess you've been in the U.S. too long when someone starts talking about the danish and you think they are referring to their last trip to Starbucks.

on May 09, 2012

tetleytea, why would a star buck?

harpo

 

on May 09, 2012

Yup, danes are real classy sometimes.

on May 09, 2012

Need a translator for the translator.Lol

Where's Google?

 

on May 09, 2012

I love that video Heavenfall. As a Norwegian I find it offensive that the list had a Danish night out as expensive (its twice the price in Norway) and the comment about clothing is also a bit strange to a mountain monkey (what the Danes call us).

on May 09, 2012

very funnies snowby...

on the otherfoot, here are my experiences so far in sweden (as an aussie) (and ya we KNOW denmark isnt part of sweden hehe)

1. winter is COLD very effing cold

2. not putting on stockings before you hike through the snow in mid winter to the supermarket  means your insane

and come from somewhere warm...like australia.

3. swedish people are not sure what to do if you smile at them.

4. if a foreinger learns swedish, you get instant respect.

5. beer can be bought at a supermarket

6. when the bus comes, when your waitng in a busy city, you make sure you get in line FIRST

7. horsemeat tastes bloody good, once you get over the fact that you used to pat them and feed them carrots.

8. hotdogs are something people eat when they celebrate. get used to it and eat one.

9. friday to sunday means get pissed (drunk)

10. Bearnaise sauce is the holy grail of sauces, and god forbid if its NOT in your fridge.

11. Supermarkets always have crazy ques.

12. Marabou is the best chocolate brand.

13. Sweden has crazy softdrink flavours that no other countries want to try (like schwepps coconut for example, and fanta stawberry and kiwi)

14. you have to buy bags at the supermarket to carry your groceries in.

15. coca cola is still expensive.... even in sweden.

16. its vary rare to see a woman in a skirt or a dress in sweden, most wear jeans or pants.

 17. taking your dog on the bus is normal.

 

on May 09, 2012

LOL.

on May 09, 2012

 

Vampothika
5. beer can be bought at a supermarket

Welcome to Europe!!

Vampothika
14. you have to buy bags at the supermarket to carry your groceries in.

Yes, thats northern Europe too

on May 09, 2012

I saw this the other day and so wanted to take my kids to Denmark:

 

\\

More: http://www.monstrum.dk/en#/

Meta
Views
» 20696
Comments
» 76
Category
Sponsored Links