An American outside 'home'
Published on May 8, 2012 By Snowman In Everything Else

Spottet this post on the Danish national TV's website, and it kinda made me giggle.
It's a list of 'observations' made by an American living in Denmark (Where I also live), and it sort of defines what 'a Dane' is and how 'we think'.
Well 'sort of' is a bit vague.... it's more or less spot on!


YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN DENMARK TOO LONG, WHEN:

You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.

You think its normal to pick up a girl in a pub, walk her to her bike and ride with her back home.

You understand why not every type of meat can be put together on top of bread.

You think its impolite to sit next to someone in a bus if there is a bench where you can sit on your own.

You go to the supermarket and buy three good beers and 10 not too good ones.

You can open a beer bottle with almost anything.

You honestly believe that the distance between Copenhagen and Aalborg is long.

You can tell the difference between a Grøn Tuborg and a Carlsberg beer

The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is to look for the queue number machine.

You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.

When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a. he is drunk;
b. he is insane;
c. he is American;
d. he is all of the above.

Silence is fun.

It no longer seems excessive to spend 800 kr. on alcohol in a single night.

You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed".

You use "Mmmm" as conversation filler.

The word "yes" is an intake of breath.

You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank

Traditional dinners may not necessarily mean a cooked meal.

You forget how to open canned beer.

Can't remember when to say "please" and "excuse me".

You will leave a pub if you can't find a seat.

Your wardrobe no longer has suits but blue shirts and mustard colored sports jackets and lots of denim.

You don't mind paying the same for a 200-metre bus ride as you do for going 10 kms.

You don't look twice at businessmen in dark suits wearing white sport socks.

You start to believe that if it weren't for Denmark's efforts, the world would probably collapse pretty soon.

You find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than the name of the wine.

It feels natural to wear sport clothes and a backpack everywhere.

You know the meaning of life has something to do with the word "hyggelig".

You are very surprised when you receive compliments about ANYTHING - including your appearance/clothing! In fact when you do, you find it suspicious and start thinking they might have ulterior motives.

You've completely forgotten what a "date" is - no one ever comes to pick you up and unexpected gifts are VERY unexpected.

You don't think it strange that no one ever comes by to visit without being invited and you never show up at any one's place unannounced either.

You wouldn't dream of coming even 10 minutes early to a party. (Once around the block is always an alternative)

You find yourself lighting candles when you have guests - even if it is brightly sunny outside and 20 degrees.

You offer people strange-tasting brown alcoholic liquids with their coffee in the MORNING!

Don't we love Denmark??!!

 

The one that seriously got me giggling was this one:

"You honestly believe that the distance between Copenhagen and Aalborg is long."

The distance, by car/train is an aprox ride of 4½-5 hours, and is about the longest uninterupted ride possible....
Denmark is a ridiculously small country. I would guess it'd take longer to get from one side to the other of ex. New York, or any other major US city.

And no, Denmark is not a city in Sweden...


Comments (Page 2)
on May 09, 2012

That's sad about the horsemeat.   In the U.S. we have rogue horse farms, and the law is ambiguous whether it's illegal or not to raise horses for slaughter; and it is illegal to do the butchering in the U.S. or to market the meat.  Lots of lobby groups pushing hard to make it all illegal.

on May 09, 2012

And no, Denmark is not a city in Sweden.

Are you sure?....

 

on May 09, 2012

....and I thought a 5 hour drive would see you do 3 laps of the border....

There are properties in Australia that'd take you a 5 hour drive from the house just to get to your own front gate to check the mail....

on May 09, 2012

I doubt I could even get to the other side of Kansas in 6 hours.  I looked it up, my little state is twice the size of Denmark.  It always amazes me how small Europe is.  

on May 09, 2012

Lord Xia
I doubt I could even get to the other side of Kansas in 6 hours.  I looked it up, my little state is twice the size of Denmark.  It always amazes me how small Europe is.  
When I lived in Texas I used to freak out my co-workers in Europe by using http://mapfrappe.com/ to show them how big it really was.

http://mapfrappe.com/?show=5020

on May 09, 2012

Zu....Anna Creek is a cattle station [ranch] in Oz that's 10% bigger than Belgium...

on May 09, 2012

Zu....Anna Creek is a cattle station [ranch] in Oz that's 10% bigger than Belgium...
   

on May 09, 2012

Ooh, this is fun.

on May 09, 2012

Here in Canada we have a park larger then Denmark.

on May 09, 2012

Just to calm you yanks down a bit. Its 3200 km from North to South in my country, and it is a european one. That is 2000 miles. Denmark is hardly Europe

on May 09, 2012

That's the trip mentioned.

The blue dot? That's where I live. Hobro, the most beautiful town in the whole (small) country!

on May 09, 2012

But... Texas is a wasteland - nothing there but the odd cactus

on May 09, 2012

joasoze
Just to calm you yanks down a bit. Its 3200 km from North to South in my country, and it is a european one. That is 2000 miles. Denmark is hardly Europe

 

It's pretty long.  

on May 09, 2012

@Zubaz - Fit and with a slim waist too

on May 09, 2012

Fuzzy Logic
But... Texas is a wasteland - nothing there but the odd cactus

"No country for old men"

 

 

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