An American outside 'home'
Published on May 8, 2012 By Snowman In Everything Else

Spottet this post on the Danish national TV's website, and it kinda made me giggle.
It's a list of 'observations' made by an American living in Denmark (Where I also live), and it sort of defines what 'a Dane' is and how 'we think'.
Well 'sort of' is a bit vague.... it's more or less spot on!


YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN DENMARK TOO LONG, WHEN:

You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.

You think its normal to pick up a girl in a pub, walk her to her bike and ride with her back home.

You understand why not every type of meat can be put together on top of bread.

You think its impolite to sit next to someone in a bus if there is a bench where you can sit on your own.

You go to the supermarket and buy three good beers and 10 not too good ones.

You can open a beer bottle with almost anything.

You honestly believe that the distance between Copenhagen and Aalborg is long.

You can tell the difference between a Grøn Tuborg and a Carlsberg beer

The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is to look for the queue number machine.

You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.

When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a. he is drunk;
b. he is insane;
c. he is American;
d. he is all of the above.

Silence is fun.

It no longer seems excessive to spend 800 kr. on alcohol in a single night.

You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed".

You use "Mmmm" as conversation filler.

The word "yes" is an intake of breath.

You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank

Traditional dinners may not necessarily mean a cooked meal.

You forget how to open canned beer.

Can't remember when to say "please" and "excuse me".

You will leave a pub if you can't find a seat.

Your wardrobe no longer has suits but blue shirts and mustard colored sports jackets and lots of denim.

You don't mind paying the same for a 200-metre bus ride as you do for going 10 kms.

You don't look twice at businessmen in dark suits wearing white sport socks.

You start to believe that if it weren't for Denmark's efforts, the world would probably collapse pretty soon.

You find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than the name of the wine.

It feels natural to wear sport clothes and a backpack everywhere.

You know the meaning of life has something to do with the word "hyggelig".

You are very surprised when you receive compliments about ANYTHING - including your appearance/clothing! In fact when you do, you find it suspicious and start thinking they might have ulterior motives.

You've completely forgotten what a "date" is - no one ever comes to pick you up and unexpected gifts are VERY unexpected.

You don't think it strange that no one ever comes by to visit without being invited and you never show up at any one's place unannounced either.

You wouldn't dream of coming even 10 minutes early to a party. (Once around the block is always an alternative)

You find yourself lighting candles when you have guests - even if it is brightly sunny outside and 20 degrees.

You offer people strange-tasting brown alcoholic liquids with their coffee in the MORNING!

Don't we love Denmark??!!

 

The one that seriously got me giggling was this one:

"You honestly believe that the distance between Copenhagen and Aalborg is long."

The distance, by car/train is an aprox ride of 4½-5 hours, and is about the longest uninterupted ride possible....
Denmark is a ridiculously small country. I would guess it'd take longer to get from one side to the other of ex. New York, or any other major US city.

And no, Denmark is not a city in Sweden...


Comments (Page 3)
on May 09, 2012

joasoze
Just to calm you yanks down a bit.

US border - North to South = 2000 miles   East to West = 3000 miles

Only country on Earth with bigger states is Australia. It also has the biggest rock. But we got the Grand Canyon. They also got the Great Barrier Reef. We got Mt. Rushmore.

on May 09, 2012
  • "Tongue" is something you get on a sandwich.
  • "Iced tea" is a cup of hot tea delivered along with a single ice cube atop a napkin.
  • Everything is always on sale at every store--always.
  • It's perfectly natural to go to bed at 4pm right after work so you can get up at 10pm and club until it's time to go to work again.
  • A little horse meat is a good diet supplement.
  • Military service is respected but wars and training must end promptly at 4pm so as not to interfere with the pre-clubbing nap.
  • Legos are a national industry.
on May 09, 2012


Only country on Earth with bigger states is Australia.

Umm...Canada?

on May 09, 2012

Canada has provinces which are more like small countries. It has Quebec too. Can't forget that one.

on May 09, 2012

"states" are more like little countries than provinces I think, that's why they are called states...but I might be wrong, I am a dipshit.

on May 09, 2012

actually xia, you are fairly close to the mark, as tasweegens think the maiinlanders are mad, the victorians think that all areas that do NOT get four or MORE seasons a day are unlivable, queenslanders and newsouthwelchers hate each other,the WA's hate the east including the SA & terrotorians, the SA hate the WA queenslanders, welchers, victorians and tasweegens and want to get the terrorotorians back, the terrorotorians just want the rest to go away so that they can switch to larger bottles of beer (they already use 1 litre stubbies which are the largest locally produced bottles for beer in au), and all states absolutly HATE the ACT which is full of the bloody useless politicks, buggercrats and other ACTs because they keep trying to make it WORSE for the rest.

and unvah you might have the biggest hole and some more piles of gravel, but we also have a desert that is in THREE states (the simpson desert) that I think might be bigger than your texas desert.

harpo

 

on May 09, 2012

Canada has provinces which are more like small countries. It has Quebec too. Can't forget that one.

 

Ah, didn't realize you were being literal with the usage of the word "state". While I'm sure there are plenty of differences between States and Provinces, most consider it a matter of semantics and use the two interchangeably for general discussion.

on May 09, 2012

harpo99999
the terrorotorians just want the rest to go away so that they can switch to larger bottles of beer (they already use 1 litre stubbies which are the largest locally produced bottles for beer in au),

The Darwin Stubbie is TWO litres, not One .....that's 70.4 fl oz aka 3.5 pints ..... Spell checker

on May 09, 2012

 

A bit of 'Strayliana' for yas.....

on May 09, 2012

Canada has provinces which are more like small countries. It has Quebec too. Can't forget that one.

Nope your totally wrong.

Each Canadian province would actually be a very very large country by itself. Ontario, where I live, is the second largest province at around a million square km.

on May 09, 2012

DsRaider

Quoting Uvah, reply 34Canada has provinces which are more like small countries. It has Quebec too. Can't forget that one.

Nope your totally wrong.

Each Canadian province would actually be a very very large country by itself. Ontario, where I live, is the second largest province at around a million square km.

I think he was talking more about governmental structure than physical size.

on May 10, 2012

DsRaider
Ontario, where I live, is the second largest province at around a million square km.
Yep.  Ontario is pretty big.  

on May 10, 2012

davidabc66
governmental structure than physical size.

Exactly. The number of them as defined by their borders. Very large land areas but not as heavily populated. Provinces, states, countries....every shape and size. Trivia: The smallest sovereign nation on the planet.

on May 10, 2012

Trivia: The smallest sovereign nation on the planet
Metro-Detroit super-imposed on top of Vatican City?

 

 

 

on May 10, 2012

Q: Why do Danish people never play hide and seek?
A: Nobody wants to look for them.  

Meta
Views
» 22610
Comments
» 76
Category
Sponsored Links