An American outside 'home'
Published on May 8, 2012 By Snowman In Everything Else

Spottet this post on the Danish national TV's website, and it kinda made me giggle.
It's a list of 'observations' made by an American living in Denmark (Where I also live), and it sort of defines what 'a Dane' is and how 'we think'.
Well 'sort of' is a bit vague.... it's more or less spot on!


YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN DENMARK TOO LONG, WHEN:

You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.

You think its normal to pick up a girl in a pub, walk her to her bike and ride with her back home.

You understand why not every type of meat can be put together on top of bread.

You think its impolite to sit next to someone in a bus if there is a bench where you can sit on your own.

You go to the supermarket and buy three good beers and 10 not too good ones.

You can open a beer bottle with almost anything.

You honestly believe that the distance between Copenhagen and Aalborg is long.

You can tell the difference between a Grøn Tuborg and a Carlsberg beer

The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is to look for the queue number machine.

You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.

When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a. he is drunk;
b. he is insane;
c. he is American;
d. he is all of the above.

Silence is fun.

It no longer seems excessive to spend 800 kr. on alcohol in a single night.

You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed".

You use "Mmmm" as conversation filler.

The word "yes" is an intake of breath.

You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank

Traditional dinners may not necessarily mean a cooked meal.

You forget how to open canned beer.

Can't remember when to say "please" and "excuse me".

You will leave a pub if you can't find a seat.

Your wardrobe no longer has suits but blue shirts and mustard colored sports jackets and lots of denim.

You don't mind paying the same for a 200-metre bus ride as you do for going 10 kms.

You don't look twice at businessmen in dark suits wearing white sport socks.

You start to believe that if it weren't for Denmark's efforts, the world would probably collapse pretty soon.

You find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than the name of the wine.

It feels natural to wear sport clothes and a backpack everywhere.

You know the meaning of life has something to do with the word "hyggelig".

You are very surprised when you receive compliments about ANYTHING - including your appearance/clothing! In fact when you do, you find it suspicious and start thinking they might have ulterior motives.

You've completely forgotten what a "date" is - no one ever comes to pick you up and unexpected gifts are VERY unexpected.

You don't think it strange that no one ever comes by to visit without being invited and you never show up at any one's place unannounced either.

You wouldn't dream of coming even 10 minutes early to a party. (Once around the block is always an alternative)

You find yourself lighting candles when you have guests - even if it is brightly sunny outside and 20 degrees.

You offer people strange-tasting brown alcoholic liquids with their coffee in the MORNING!

Don't we love Denmark??!!

 

The one that seriously got me giggling was this one:

"You honestly believe that the distance between Copenhagen and Aalborg is long."

The distance, by car/train is an aprox ride of 4½-5 hours, and is about the longest uninterupted ride possible....
Denmark is a ridiculously small country. I would guess it'd take longer to get from one side to the other of ex. New York, or any other major US city.

And no, Denmark is not a city in Sweden...


Comments (Page 5)
6 PagesFirst 3 4 5 6 
on May 15, 2012

Me fail in English? That`s unpossible

on May 15, 2012

"You honestly believe that the distance between Copenhagen and Aalborg is long."

I honestly believe it! My youngest daughter lives in Aalborg and well..I'm glad she visits us more often than not! Hell of a journey!

The whole list is absolutly true of course, down to the last detail. Wouldn't have it any other way!

on May 15, 2012

High School stats:

English = epic fail 55 average

Spanish = 95 average yet I can't speak a word of it. Go figure. 

on May 16, 2012


Excuse me, where do people in the USA buy beer (if not in supermarkets)? (<-- really want to know, not irony)

on May 16, 2012

Depends in what state you live in. Some states have beer distributors where you can buy beer in bulk, like in Pa. and some are actually sold in supermarkets but not sure which ones. There are small deli's that sell beer, sandwich shops and the like. Like I said...depends on where you live.

on May 16, 2012


Thanks. OK, if I were to fly to New York City, could I buy beer in a supermarket there, or would I need to go to a specialty store or distributor?

But I can still buy large-caliber firearms without a problem, right? (Also no irony intended here...)

on May 16, 2012

The states with the least restrictions on firearms are in the South.  The South is filled with rednecks and laws that restrict alcohol sales.  The states with lots of restrictions on firearms like California and New York have few laws about alcohol.  Easy booze or easy guns, pick one.

on May 17, 2012

That pretty much sums it up. If you go to New York stay far away from fire arms. New York cops don't play. I should know.....lived there forty five years.

on May 25, 2012


wITHIN nEW yORK sTATE... OPPS  too much beer messing with my advanced keyboarding skills (two finger s and a thumb).  Anyway, counties within the state have different ruesl about alcohol.  Some rural counties in NY state are "dry."  All booze illegal.  Most allow alcohol sales, even in supermakets.  However, there is often a time frame in which the supermarket may not sell the beer on their shelves.  This is usually late evening and thru the night.  

 

Funny, but doesnt this encourge beer sales during the work day?  I like it.

 

@Uvah  Yes, NY cops don't play.  Unless thay have an extra pair of handcuffs "just laying around."

on May 25, 2012

You know you've been in Denmark too long, when...

You brag about being able to fit everything in your car that you are going to need with you on your ski trip in Norway....thus not having to spend an øre while on holiday! (True story. My friend is English and lives in Denmark......he sure has embraced the Danish ways!)

on May 25, 2012

My friend is English and lives in Denmark......he sure has embraced the Danish ways!

To be fair, he's half Irish....so he already had the tight wad genes in him

on May 25, 2012

irish are NOT the tightwads, it is the scotchs that have fully mastered tightwad, but both ARE mildly stubborn.

and I am part english, irish, welsh, scotch & dane, so I CAN talk about it here in AU.

harpo

 

on May 26, 2012

*Scots

on May 26, 2012

fuzzy is that what you drink ?

harpo

 

on May 26, 2012

People 'up there' are referred to as being 'Scots' or 'Scottish', never 'Scotch'.

 

Though one or two of them are well blended...

6 PagesFirst 3 4 5 6